I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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