He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
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Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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