so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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