I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
