It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
