For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
