even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I just shit out all my problems.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
