tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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