oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
