lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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