Don't you send me to vm
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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