just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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