I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize