I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
