Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
