Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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