so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
