I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
