so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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