did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
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That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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