of course. lets lasso hookers.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
my liver is dry heaving
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
