you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
