You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You're a waste of cheezeits
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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