if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
