I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
