Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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