You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
