If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I want to fling myself into the sun
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