where am i from again
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
