I think my vagina is haunted
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
