Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Thank you for not boning my boss.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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