Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
