Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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