Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
