How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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