So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
