can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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