Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
