I don't think brook has ever known best
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You ate ashes out of my bong
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.