I got chris browned last night
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.