you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.