were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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