Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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