I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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