As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer