Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.