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I want to stick my p in your. b.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Randomize
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