so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
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Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human