Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
