So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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