I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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