How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
