everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
