We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
