I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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