Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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