therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
