phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
my liver is dry heaving
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
