We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize