Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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