Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
