whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
