Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Randomize
