You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she smelled like a LAN party
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
