cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She announced her abortion via fbk
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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