Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We just shotgunned beers for America
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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