fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
