D3 body, D1 cock
nut hugger
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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