You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
