Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
