haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
